I go to sleep with her at my breast, and in the wee wee hours, when I am inexplicably awake, I turn and there she is, all angelic in the moonlight. I am so filled with love - every night, she reminds me that we have a little factory of joy1.
Many parents I know just don't do it and I often wonder if they had simply followed convention without really thinking about it when preparing for a new baby. You know, 'We're having a baby! We must have a nursery, a cot etc etc'. I admit, I fell into that way of thinking because, well, I was panicking slightly to be honest. First time mother, no immediate family around, not many old friends in the vicinity - so you go with the wisdom of those around you.
OK, OK, those of you who know me will scoff. I sort of fell into that way of thinking in the sense that I thought, "I guess we should have a nursery" when someone asked if we'd got it ready. That was immediately followed by "Why do we need a nursery again?" So we didn't. I was adamant that she would sleep in our room as it meant I would be able to respond quickly. She did have a cot... until I got fed up with having to get her out of her cot. Eventually, we just dispensed with the cot and now she sleeps with us.
I guess it's easier for us as we've always slept on mattresses on the floor. My husband liked it and I didn't mind either way (I could sleep pretty much anywhere). So we joined up a couple of mattresses on the floor and we had a luxuriously huge "bed".
She's 3 now and still sleeps with us. She has claimed the spare room as hers, but that's really all talk. Where she sleeps is where we are.
I guess a few questions arise: how do you and your husband have sex? Answer: We try to have 'mummy-daddy' time - you don't have to have sex at night in bed!
What about nudity? We are quite casual nudists and it makes it easier to teach her about what are private parts. We aren't ashamed of our bodies so we're teaching her that she shouldn't be ashamed of hers. Children are naturally curious about their bodies and what the other sex looks like. She knows what a willy/penis is and what a fanny is, that she's a girl, Daddy is a boy and Mummy is a woman (I have boobies!)2. When it's time to cover up, she'll let me know by the way she acts (wanting to change in behind closed doors etc). When she does, so will we in front of her. Dr Sears gives practical advice about sexuality and I whole-heartedly agree. See here: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/child-rearing-and-development/sexuality
Shouldn't she learn how to sleep on her own? She does - if she's tired and wants a nap, she just curls up somewhere comfy. She does that when she's with relatives. I have no doubt that she'll want her own bed and her own room. And when she does, she will let us know. (She knows that other children have their own rooms and I suspect she feels slightly sorry for them.)
Oh, and I am still breastfeeding. I am not forcing it on her, she still wants it. It's a great comfort to her and I don't mind in the least. I see signs that she'll be giving it up soon but I'd like it to be her choice.
What is she like? She's amazingly articulate, adventurous, curious about everything, likes all sorts of food, sleeps well at night, laughs and cries in equal measure because she's an emotional creature, a little bit bossy, but knows when to back down, polite and likes mess. Just like her parents!
1 Tim Lott, writing in the Guardian http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/jan/17/has-having-children-made-me-happier-open-university
2 She also knows about ear drums, what the various bits of her body is called including things like ribs, liver, kidneys, shin, thighs, how our body uses food, what snot is, why we have ear wax and bogeys and why we have eyebrows. And she's learning more every day. She's utterly astonishing.
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