Mummy, why do we live on Earth?

My 3-year old asked me that over the phone when I was at work! As a first time mum, it completely blew me away. I couldn't help smiling the rest of the day.

When I got home, the answer I gave was that we couldn't live on the other planets  (too hot, too cold, no air, no water etc) and that the earth created us. She asked even more searching questions before being distracted by food! And my bandaged arm (I'd had my implant removed yesterday - the GP had to dig around a bit and left a significant hole.)

She then wanted to look at pictures of blood! She had already been fascinated by blood before - in her words, "Blood is very interesting!". We talked about red blood cells, platelets and white blood cells... then we went on about ear wax and snot!

Sadly she was completely wide awake until midnight.

Ah well...

I am writing this in between coughing up a spleen. Damn cold virus.1

I've been inspired this morning by Joanna Walsh who started the #readwomen2014 meme.2

And since I love lists, here is my list of women writers I have on my shelves:

1. Ellen Kushner

Swordspoint; The Fall of the Kings; Priviledge of the Sword; Thomas the Rhymer

Looking at the list of titles they do look like romances, but I assure you they are not. Romantic yes, in that they are full of sword-fights, schemes, and bloody freedom-fighting. There is emphatically NO bodice-ripping to be found.

2. Sheri S Tepper

Just a selection of my favourites: Grass; The Gate to Women's Country; Family Tree; A Plague of Angels; The Awakeners; The Companions

Sci-Fi fans if you've not read her before (and do ignore the blurbs on the backs of the books - for some reason they write them like romances!) you would like her if you like Robert Silverberg and Orson Scott Card. Particularly Grass and The Companions.

3. Esther Friesner

She's better known for her shorts and her editorial prowess. If you want a witty good laugh, seek her out in various anthologies. The Chicks In Chainmail series is just superb and I wish I could find them... (they're packed away in a box somewhere. Oh yes, 18 months on and we're still haven't unpacked.)

4. Octavia E Butler

Parable of the Talents; Wild Seed; Clay's Ark

As a black writer, Butler's stories often explore social challenges within a futuristic context. Her brand of sci-fi would suit you if you liked Brave New World and Fahrenheit 451.

5. Kate Griffin

A Madness of Angels; The Midnight Mayor

Wonderful urban fantasy set in a throbbing, grungy, hungry London. Griffin's writing is visceral, rhythmic and for me, had the power of a undertow. I fell in love from page 1 of Madness.

I have to go work now3... but other female authors you should consider reading this year:

• Janet Evanonich - hapless bounty hunter mysteries - pick up a Stephanie Plum book - Takedown Twenty is a fun read
• Angela Carter - Nights at the Circus
• Margaret Atwood - The Handmaid's Tale
• Hilary Mantel - Wolf Hall; Bring Up the Bodies
• Erin Morgenstern - The Night Circus
• Sandi Toksvig - Whistling for Elephants; Flying Under Bridges
• Lynne Truss - Eats, Shoots and Leaves
• Kate Fox - Watching the English

1 On the plus side, Plate and I spent about half an hour going "ooh! ah!" at images of the flu virus and learning a bit about them.

2 http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2014/jan/20/read-women-2014-change-sexist-reading-habits

3 Yup, still not emancipated. Yet. I think it will happen this year.

Developments in the cocoon

The challenge has been taken up! 

In the first thread, a friend (A*) and I challenged each other to take the first step towards being a free range human1. 

Mine was to see if I could get paid planning parties - I got my first "work experience" assignment - planning a baby shower for someone I don't really know. If that goes well... idea tested! Start doing!

His was to get some side projects as a Linux Administrator. If that's your thing, go here: http://www.theeternalwanderer.com/

I also got thinking about all the other things I love doing: designing brands, writing stories and doing all sorts of stuff... and got a second challenge: to rebrand a good friend's cake making enterprise. Now we're really cooking! 

Next thing I know, a side project that's been percolating for while finally took a real step forward.

Some friends and I had been talking about a local website dedicated to new parents looking for activities for their young family as web searches just threw up too many options and none were reliable. What we were missing was a tech genius who could build us a site to our specifications. Step forward A*! 

It's all terribly exciting! 

1 http://www.free-range-humans.com/

Co-sleeping, nudity and breastfeeding a toddler

I've been meaning to write about this for a while. Mainly because it strikes me every night just how amazing it is. By "it", I mean co-sleeping with my daughter. 

I go to sleep with her at my breast, and in the wee wee hours, when I am inexplicably awake, I turn and there she is, all angelic in the moonlight. I am so filled with love - every night, she reminds me that we have a little factory of joy1. 

Many parents I know just don't do it and I often wonder if they had simply followed convention without really thinking about it when preparing for a new baby. You know, 'We're having a baby! We must have a nursery, a cot etc etc'. I admit, I fell into that way of thinking because, well, I was panicking slightly to be honest. First time mother, no immediate family around, not many old friends in the vicinity - so you go with the wisdom of those around you.

OK, OK, those of you who know me will scoff. I sort of fell into that way of thinking in the sense that I thought, "I guess we should have a nursery" when someone asked if we'd got it ready. That was immediately followed by "Why do we need a nursery again?" So we didn't. I was adamant that she would sleep in our room as it meant I would be able to respond quickly. She did have a cot... until I got fed up with having to get her out of her cot. Eventually, we just dispensed with the cot and now she sleeps with us.

I guess it's easier for us as we've always slept on mattresses on the floor. My husband liked it and I didn't mind either way (I could sleep pretty much anywhere). So we joined up a couple of mattresses on the floor and we had a luxuriously huge "bed".

She's 3 now and still sleeps with us. She has claimed the spare room as hers, but that's really all talk. Where she sleeps is where we are.

I guess a few questions arise: how do you and your husband have sex? Answer: We try to have 'mummy-daddy' time - you don't have to have sex at night in bed! 

What about nudity? We are quite casual nudists and it makes it easier to teach her about what are private parts. We aren't ashamed of our bodies so we're teaching her that she shouldn't be ashamed of hers. Children are naturally curious about their bodies and what the other sex looks like. She knows what a willy/penis is and what a fanny is, that she's a girl, Daddy is a boy and Mummy is a woman (I have boobies!)2. When it's time to cover up, she'll let me know by the way she acts (wanting to change in behind closed doors etc). When she does, so will we in front of her. Dr Sears gives practical advice about sexuality and I whole-heartedly agree. See here: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/child-rearing-and-development/sexuality

Shouldn't she learn how to sleep on her own? She does - if she's tired and wants a nap, she just curls up somewhere comfy. She does that when she's with relatives. I have no doubt that she'll want her own bed and her own room. And when she does, she will let us know. (She knows that other children have their own rooms and I suspect she feels slightly sorry for them.)

Oh, and I am still breastfeeding. I am not forcing it on her, she still wants it. It's a great comfort to her and I don't mind in the least. I see signs that she'll be giving it up soon but I'd like it to be her choice.

What is she like? She's amazingly articulate, adventurous, curious about everything, likes all sorts of food, sleeps well at night, laughs and cries in equal measure because she's an emotional creature, a little bit bossy, but knows when to back down, polite and likes mess. Just like her parents!


1 Tim Lott, writing in the Guardian http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/jan/17/has-having-children-made-me-happier-open-university

2 She also knows about ear drums, what the various bits of her body is called including things like ribs, liver, kidneys, shin, thighs, how our body uses food, what snot is, why we have ear wax and bogeys and why we have eyebrows. And she's learning more every day. She's utterly astonishing.

The first thread

And so I take the first step towards actually doing something with the mini-mountain of ideas taking up room in my head.

The first challenge: get this blog up and running!

This is the follow on from my previous blog about raising a child, getting out of debt and moving house. Read it here

September 2012 was when I stopped - mainly because we were out of debt (well, mostly!) and we'd moved. But the raising the child part - ah! That is a wonderful work in progress!

We've been busy "settling" in into our new home - it's been...
interesting.

I am trying to work out if I want to tell all about the various mental illnesses that plague our house. In short, the mental illnesses played a significant role in making our lives interesting. I'll get back to you on that.

The worst thing in 2013 involved a number of meltdowns. But you know what? They led to lovely things and even lovelier things.

Some of the best things that came out was counselling, Marianne Cantrell and the 6-Week Club. But more about those in later posts.

Second challenge: test an idea. So here's me testing.

Lately, I've found that I love organising parties and they've been successful ones too. Let's see where this takes me! 

Need to organise a party but would rather someone else do it? Then message me with your email address and let's talk! 

Double A: the gauntlet is thrown!