I have often wondered about the rhyme "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." It's definitely an adult's way of helping a child cope with taunting - but will it really help? It seems to devalue the power of words. All of human civilisation is connected by words: there are words to inspire, words to kill, words to heal, words to love... even those of us who lack a physical voice or the capacity to hear, still use words to connect with another human being. Would it not be more useful to learn how to use the taunting? Turn it back on the user? And to cope with one's feelings? I think it would be more harmful to believe that words could never hurt us, when In fact, words can do the worst kind of injury: invisible, insidious and enduring.
I had believed the lie, because I was told it as a child. I was told repeatedly by well-meaning adults who could not conceive of emotional hurt. If you couldn't see the injury, of course it wasn't not real or was worth attention. I have learned, at great cost, otherwise.
This gentleman's words from Humans of New York - " that every feeling will pass if you give it time." - crystallised what I'd been learning intuitively recently. It will be something that I will try to teach my daughter, or rather something we will learn to do together. Ignoring or burying emotional pain is only prolonging its existence, and gives it impetus to grow. Just as we shouldn't draw back from happiness (because we're afraid of the cost should it suddenly disappear), we shouldn't turn away from pain, but see it through.
This too will pass.
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