Some days the imperative to write is quite impossible to ignore. Quite often it is simply to release the stream of consciousness that batters at the front of the mind. I also have an inner film-maker who frequently throws up vivid fantasies behind my eyes. I have imaginary conversations in my head, and mini-dramas unfold as I go about my everyday. Of course, I am at the centre of all of these.
I question my sanity pretty much all the time*. Is this normal? But then, the question becomes 'Do I want to be normal?'. Most of my life has been lived with the fundamental belief that average is anathema, normal is for other people, that one should never be part of a flock: I will not be the same as all of you. I revelled in being the oddball, the rebel, the one who will always take the path less travelled. Damn, it gets tiring.
A good friend pointed out that normalcy is nothing to be ashamed of, and really, I could do with some of it right now. I believe she is right. What is normal, though? By what yardstick do I measure my mental health? I am certain that I can still be the weird and wonderful me without feeling like I'm losing my mind.
Let's go find out.
*At least three or more of my friends, and my sisters, have observed that I think too much, one of them has even dubbed me 'Girl Who Thinks (too much)'. It's a moniker I quite like, and relish even. Not exactly brimming with wit, but there is something appealing in its bare simplicity.
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