Reawakening

Since I last posted, my life has been shaken up and continues to be tumbled around. It's been tumultuous to say the least and pretty much all of it was instigated by me.

I can't really go into details here (much as I really, really want to) but I need to write about it. I am diarist who needs to be read. I find that I simply cannot write and not show it to anyone!

If you've been reading this blog and the its sister, you know that I am married with a little girl. I have been married for nearly 20 years but I have only been a mother for less than five.

In that time, I have made it through mental illnesses (yes, plural) and a suicide attempt on top of all the regular stuff that couples live with.

For a while now, I had been struggling with a terrible need to make a significant change to my life - I was constantly casting about to do something different. I felt that maybe I needed a new job, new projects, new activities - but none of it fit. I simply couldn't seem to follow through on anything.

Then I followed through on one, amazing, awful, thing.

And I found myself unfurling. I found that I had wings. That I could fly. I was so intensely, apparently happy that strangers noticed and smiled back at me.

I was on the crest of this wave of well-being when the epiphany occurred. I suddenly realised that I had been deeply, deeply unhappy for a very long time. If I wanted to feel like this again, I needed to break a promise I had made a long time ago.

This was the significant I change I needed to make to save my life.

The bomb has been dropped. I feel guilty about the cost - no one with an ounce of compassion could not - but I am doing everything in my power to mitigate the fall out.



 

Logo design ideas: Community Youth

I'm just having a nostalgic moment... over the last year or so, I've been trying to get back onto a creative track. Recently I finished a brochure for a colleague's mate and I've been drafting ideas for a friend's cake business. Here're a couple of things I'd done that I quite like.

Boy, was I conceited! And failed completely to understand that the youth club should design their own logo!

Ideas 3

Some updates on the Ideas 1 and 2!

The car party was a hit! Although the kids got so excited about racing their cars we didn't get a chance to stick on the "safety belts". The cars themselves were ultimately abandoned for just racing and flopping on the grass! A checkered tea-towel acted as the finish line and various garden items were used as part of the track. A fab day was had by all. We laughed so much my cheeks ached!

The fairy party didn't happen in the end as the dragon fell ill as did one of the fairies. So we shall be doing that one again another time.

The silent disco went down like a lead balloon... but hey, should definitely try again. Timing is everything methinks!

Here are some fresh ideas:

28/6/14:
1. An art tv show for kids streamed online. More details in a separate blog.
2. Mr & Little Miss Action/Snap cards
3. £1 challenge - find a thousand things to sell for a £1. Currently in progress here: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10152039245292723.1073741832.720977722&type=1&l=2658dde162
4. An investigator bee called Anoushka (?) who is a solitary bee - she helps the other creatures in her glen. So far, the cases have been - a missing beehive, the burning of Mrs Ladybird's house, the a missing ant trail.



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Well, there has been some movement on the ideas list. I've made a first draft of Digger vs the Ball, a car party is happening this Sunday and April will see a fairy party where we're making our own wings and vanquishing a dragon in the garden. (ooh! Must buy chalk for the castle!)

14/03/14:

1. Organise a silent disco at work... during the day!

2. A colouring book featuring characters from fairytales but mixed up in each other's stories (very 2012 I suppose what with Fables/Once Upon A Time/Grimm...)

3. Have a beer and cake party

http://ediblecrafts.craftgossip.com/chocolate-baileys-irish-cream-filled-beer-mug-cakes/2014/03/11/

---------------

19/02/14:

1. Throw a Mad Hatter's Club Night in Ely

2. Throw a splatter party, car party, foam party for my kid(s)

03/02/14:

1. A-Z of Mammals / Insects / Reptiles... etc picture book

2. Height Chart of Mythical Creatures (I'm as tall as a fairy! Gnome! Hobbit!)

3. Height Chart of Animals (I'm as tall as a pig - using real height stats)

4. Throw a home-made Articulate! party

5. More Turbulent ideas that need to get beyond the sketchbook

19/01/14:

1. The Dragon who didn't know what to eat.
2. Little Red Riding Hood saves the Day
3. Just Right
4. Make a tubular bells out of the clothesline with thrown away tubes
5. Make a waterwall bath toy using suction cups and various trays, tubes and bottles...
6. Ely Bub Hub!

6/01/14:

1. A to Z of mythical creatures colouring book
2. Portrait: Dreaming man
3. Painting of Plate as a Little fairy

 - A pop-up soft play place in Ely - once a month or a fortnight - a random place will have a soft-play area for under 5s

- World Bread Day - in ELY! Inspired by Sarah & Duck - surely this is possible? I see it on Cherry Hill, imagine the smells wafting into the City... with everyone picnicking on blankets, chomping away...

- the Blue Daisy Store - selling cloth nappies, green disposables, Cheeky Wipes, cloth pads, with the Cafe that offers gluten-free, diabetic friendly food. Comfy armchairs/rocking chairs for nursing mothers...

- My messages to the world: --- have more parties - without the work!

- I'd love to:

• organise kid's parties and small grown-up soirees...
• write stories
• design brand identities for microbusinesses & charities
• Get paid for just coming up with creative solutions to everyday problems 
• organise a RAWK/D&B/DANCE night in Ely called CLUB SEAL (already got the logo!)

Designs I would like to actually see outside my head

- Fallen angel wings

- Turbulence - Faces

- Hardy Plasterers

- HM Cake N Bake

- Mr Vantastic

  

The stories I've told myself

- How Bella Got Her Stripes Back

- Digger vs the Ball

- The Witch of the Fens: Badger's story

- Inspector May "Mayhem" Chen and the Missing Lie Detector

- How Mayhem Got Her Name (it involves a fireworks factory...)

- Digger vs the Worm

- Digger vs the Cloud

Taking too much on

So I am living in interesting times. Some of which is not of my own doing, the rest... well, I had started them without realising that the bad stuff was just around the corner.

So the bad stuff:
- our landlord has given us 2 months' notice
- I have reached my tolerance threshold at my day job
- Taxes are really taxing! Especially when they're not yours! Grrr

The good stuff:
- I am now an Usborne Book Organiser and looking forward to having book parties
- The first page of Elybubhub is up
- I've made contact with a person who could really get the Mad Hatter's Party off the ground
- A leaflet re-design is going well
- I'm at the research / sketch stage for a cake designer's logo

The fairy party didn't happen - everyone was ill - but the car party was a hit. It was followed by an obstacle course in the park which involved a lot of running and laughing! Next - hill rolling!

I'm enjoying season 2 of Person of Interest - it's awesome!

Ideas 2

Well, there has been some movement on the ideas list. I've made a first draft of Digger vs the Ball, a car party is happening this Sunday and April will see a fairy party where we're making our own wings and vanquishing a dragon in the garden. (ooh! Must buy chalk for the castle!)

14/03/14:

1. Organise a silent disco at work... during the day!

2. A colouring book featuring characters from fairytales but mixed up in each other's stories (very 2012 I suppose what with Fables/Once Upon A Time/Grimm...)

3. Have a beer and cake party

http://ediblecrafts.craftgossip.com/chocolate-baileys-irish-cream-filled-beer-mug-cakes/2014/03/11/

---------------

19/02/14:

1. Throw a Mad Hatter's Club Night in Ely

2. Throw a splatter party, car party, foam party for my kid(s)

03/02/14:

1. A-Z of Mammals / Insects / Reptiles... etc picture book

2. Height Chart of Mythical Creatures (I'm as tall as a fairy! Gnome! Hobbit!)

3. Height Chart of Animals (I'm as tall as a pig - using real height stats)

4. Throw a home-made Articulate! party

5. More Turbulent ideas that need to get beyond the sketchbook

19/01/14:

1. The Dragon who didn't know what to eat.
2. Little Red Riding Hood saves the Day
3. Just Right
4. Make a tubular bells out of the clothesline with thrown away tubes
5. Make a waterwall bath toy using suction cups and various trays, tubes and bottles...
6. Ely Bub Hub!

6/01/14:

1. A to Z of mythical creatures colouring book
2. Portrait: Dreaming man
3. Painting of Plate as a Little fairy

 - A pop-up soft play place in Ely - once a month or a fortnight - a random place will have a soft-play area for under 5s

- World Bread Day - in ELY! Inspired by Sarah & Duck - surely this is possible? I see it on Cherry Hill, imagine the smells wafting into the City... with everyone picnicking on blankets, chomping away...

- the Blue Daisy Store - selling cloth nappies, green disposables, Cheeky Wipes, cloth pads, with the Cafe that offers gluten-free, diabetic friendly food. Comfy armchairs/rocking chairs for nursing mothers...

- My messages to the world: --- have more parties - without the work!

- I'd love to:

• organise kid's parties and small grown-up soirees...
• write stories
• design brand identities for microbusinesses & charities
• Get paid for just coming up with creative solutions to everyday problems 
• organise a RAWK/D&B/DANCE night in Ely called CLUB SEAL (already got the logo!)

Designs I would like to actually see outside my head

- Fallen angel wings

- Turbulence - Faces

- Hardy Plasterers

- HM Cake N Bake

- Mr Vantastic

  

The stories I've told myself

- How Bella Got Her Stripes Back

- Digger vs the Ball

- The Witch of the Fens: Badger's story

- Inspector May "Mayhem" Chen and the Missing Lie Detector

- How Mayhem Got Her Name (it involves a fireworks factory...)

- Digger vs the Worm

- Digger vs the Cloud

Full-time mum for a week!

This week I have been on leave. The idea was to nurse my somewhat strained relationship with my husband. Instead, I found myself spending practically every minute with my daughter1. It was wonderful! And is still continuing to be so...

So far we have been to playgroups, met up with friends, spent hours wandering around town and the parks. At one point, we ended up sitting on the edge of an old reclaimed quarry watching the water birds and squirrels. We also got slightly lost and had to ring daddy to come pick us up!

I saw first hand how she took to pre-school, played with other kids and how much she loved being with her parents.

She's now started to "keep" secrets. I am not sure how to take that one but one of the secrets was a joke, "When I was really, really little, I drank vodka from your boobs!"  Apparently our jokes are secret and she won't tell them to others.

And of course, yesterday, we found nits! Daddy and I had a little argument about whether they were really nits as she had a scabby scalp. Not sure what that's all about but she's had that since she was little. It doesn't bother her one iota.

Anyway, today is Friday, and then it will be the weekend and then I will go back to being a worker bee. I like my job but I do wish I could be both - I am working on making that happen.

As for my adult relationship, that's more complicated than I thought. And what I had originally planned to do is just not going to cut it.

1. I have also spent most mornings catching up with Chuck Season 5 - they had SO much fun making that! And the evenings reading "Whispers Underground" by Ben Aaronovitch. Jim Butcher fans will get a kick out of this: at a fairy market, they order 'Macs', brown bottled beer imported a crate at a time from a microbrewery in America. 

Ideas!

I attended a talk by Will Self years ago, and the thing he said that stuck most with me was to pity the person who steals your idea. Because you can always come up with new ones while they... well, they have to steal them!

So as part of the ongoing mission to transform, I've decided to throw my ideas out there. And keep adding to the list...

19/02/14:

1. Throw a Mad Hatter's Club Night in Ely

2. Throw a splatter party, car party, foam party for my kid(s)

03/02/14:

1. A-Z of Mammals / Insects / Reptiles... etc picture book

2. Height Chart of Mythical Creatures (I'm as tall as a fairy! Gnome! Hobbit!)

3. Height Chart of Animals (I'm as tall as a pig - using real height stats)

4. Throw a home-made Articulate! party

5. More Turbulent ideas that need to get beyond the sketchbook

19/01/14:

1. The Dragon who didn't know what to eat.
2. Little Red Riding Hood saves the Day
3. Just Right
4. Make a tubular bells out of the clothesline with thrown away tubes
5. Make a waterwall bath toy using suction cups and various trays, tubes and bottles...
6. Ely Bub Hub!

6/01/14:

1. A to Z of mythical creatures colouring book
2. Portrait: Dreaming man
3. Painting of Plate as a Little fairy

 - A pop-up soft play place in Ely - once a month or a fortnight - a random place will have a soft-play area for under 5s

- World Bread Day - in ELY! Inspired by Sarah & Duck - surely this is possible? I see it on Cherry Hill, imagine the smells wafting into the City... with everyone picnicking on blankets, chomping away...

- the Blue Daisy Store - selling cloth nappies, green disposables, Cheeky Wipes, cloth pads, with the Cafe that offers gluten-free, diabetic friendly food. Comfy armchairs/rocking chairs for nursing mothers...

- My messages to the world: --- have more parties - without the work!

- I'd love to:

• organise kid's parties and small grown-up soirees...
• write stories
• design brand identities for microbusinesses & charities
• Get paid for just coming up with creative solutions to everyday problems 
• organise a RAWK/D&B/DANCE night in Ely called CLUB SEAL (already got the logo!)

Designs I would like to actually see outside my head

- Fallen angel wings

- Turbulence - Faces

- Hardy Plasterers

- HM Cake N Bake

- Mr Vantastic

  

The stories I've told myself

- How Bella Got Her Stripes Back

- Digger vs the Ball

- The Witch of the Fens: Badger's story

- Inspector May "Mayhem" Chen and the Missing Lie Detector

- How Mayhem Got Her Name (it involves a fireworks factory...)

- Digger vs the Worm

- Digger vs the Cloud